Fictional Guys vs. Real Ones
I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while… or at least, it has sat in the back of my head and I’m just now trying to put comprehend-able words to it.
Friends, it is so easy to get lost in fictional worlds. That’s why we read isn’t it? To have a chance to explore a new place, meet new people? I’ve always been a daydreamer. I’ve always had an imagination too big for my own head. Reading has been a major outlet for me – a way to relax and let my imagination soar. Its one of my most prized hobbies… as it is for most of you who are probably reading this. It reminds me of my favorite C.S. Lewis quote that makes my heart all giddy, especially in terms of my faith.
If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world. ~C.S. Lewis
All that to say- our love for fictional characters is part of the fun. I’m the first to admit that I fan-girl all over the place for characters that I adore. The heroes, the heroines. The villains. The snarky pirates, the scowling guards. They are what make the worlds believable and fun.
So what’s my point to all this aside from stating the obvious?
It is easy to compare fictional guys to the real men in our lives.
Fun fact about me- I’m happily married. Not long ago, a friend asked me if I ever felt that reading about those amazing “bbf’s” (same thing can be said about movies) – ever made me think I was missing out on something or think less of my husband. If I ever compared them to him.
My answer to that (after taking some time to really sit and think about it) is based on a perspective I choose to have while reading. I just had to smile when I thought back at the reasons why I love some of the characters that I do. They remind me of him. If I think back to the best character traits of the characters vs. the man I love- they are one in the same. Loyal. Determined. Smart. Funny. Willing to tear the world apart for the ones they love. Charming. Sweet. Sensitive. I could go on- but you get the picture.
I smile because all the swoon worthy characteristics I find in books are the same reason why I still fall for my husband. No, he’s not an overly buffed up mystical warrior (thank God). But he’s real. Tangible. No one is making him up on paper – no one is idealizing him as some perfected figure in their mind. No author is forcing him to be something; or to love me.
So I’d like this message to be an encouragement to all you ladies who have special men in your lives. (Or vice versa, of course.) I hope you take a similar perspective when reading. I hope you let these amazing books remind you of why you harbor love for your dearest (and even for your brothers, friends, etc.) Let them make your heart happy and appreciate the good and not focus on the negatives. Let them help you to remember what you’re so thankful for. I think a good place to draw the line is idolization. Idolizing anything on this earth can be harmful and toxic – including people.
What about healthy comparisons, then?
I think there are still some really healthy takeaways from fictional characters. Friends, I hope that when you consider yourself and what you’re worthy of- you’ll remember that there are good men out there that will treat you with respect and loyalty. No one is perfect, but I hope that you’ll surround yourself with people who lift you up instead of put you down- and someone who will treasure you as you treasure them.
Have any thoughts? I’d love to see them in the comments below!